Welcome back friends!
I’m not a drinker – However, back when I was thirty, I found some magazine that listed the twenty best scotches. (If it had been the twenty best bourbons, I would have tried them.) I went to my doctor friend and said, “I’d like to become a social drinker, but I don’t want to get drunk or have hangovers. What should I do?”
“Sam, don’t take mixed drinks. Drink it straight with water back. Also have a bowl of oatmeal or buttermilk, before you go. Then order one scotch and nurse it all night.”
I took my list and a 3×5 card and wrote down the brands that I liked. I settled on Johnny Walker Black. I would have taken Glenlivet but it was too hard to find. I didn’t go for the oatmeal prep, but I did start out with buttermilk. I drank scotch for about five years. I didn’t get drunk or pass out. (There was one time when we had friends over and I broke my rule: I decided to drink Margaritas from a beer stein. My doctor was correct: By the second stein, I passed out.) Other than that one time I didn’t have hangovers. Then one day, I stopped. Just stopped running in that kind of social circle. The scotch bottles stayed in the cupboard for three or four years. Never touched it and sold the whole box of five or six bottles at a yard sale for five dollars. I gave up scotch, but I acquired a liking for buttermilk!
Fast forward fifty years. In my eighth decade, I have decided to step outside the box again. A Tucson newspaper mentioned several craft breweries within our area. Did you know there is something called a “flight”? This is a way to taste different beers. (I wonder if one can move up to a “Squadron”?) Anyway, after I have decided the type of craft beer I like, I am expected to drink at the least, one glass. And no, I haven’t made up my mind. There, my friends, is the problem: Beer causes one to pee. Unless you want to become a multi-absorbent-wearing di-dee doll, beer will go right through you. The solution is the Men’s Liberty External Catheter. In the winter, with long pants, a Men’s Liberty leg bag is perfect. But in the summer with temperatures in the 100ºs, shorts are called for. The “regular” size will be fine. It means more trips to the rest room, but the exercise is good.
For those who may wonder: She-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed will be the driver!
To be continued…
That’s the main advantage of Men’s Liberty: No worry!